Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
