OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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