sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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