Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
