yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
