I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
