Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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