Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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