i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
