Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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