dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
