1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
