It's Friday. Sex?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
