Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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