he wants to bone in the snuggie
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
