Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
