so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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