Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
