then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
