i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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