I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
