I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
