So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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