so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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