i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
