i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
