they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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