My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
