On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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