It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
