you mean i was at the winter classic?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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