better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Someone signed my nipple.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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