just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
