Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
