I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
