I CAN MOONWALK!
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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