Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize