We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
