I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
