You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
