drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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