franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
