Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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