easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
