Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
