i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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