Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
