Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I checked into jail on foursquare
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
