I could make wine with my vomit
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
