I puked a lego.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
