U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize