Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
