handjob tips. give me some.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
