so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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