It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize