How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
