I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
