make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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