So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
